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ISS, please forgive me for saying but i think you missed a couple of essential kit items from your list and hope you dont mind me adding what i believe will be needed A. some little rounder coasters to put the coffee mugs on, this will help to protect the new Ikea office equipment / desk /...

you cant educate pork!

hi, just looking for someone who could translate a very short letter, hand written in Arabic from a son to his mother, If anyone is able to help we would be very grateful. trying to help sort a family problem out, please pm me if possible cheers steve2305

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, My wife and I went into town and visited a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a meter man writing out a parking ticket. We went...

A lad asks his dad................... . "whats the difference between potentially and realistically"? ........................................... He says "go and ask your mum and sister if they'd sleep with the milkman for £1,000,000" the lad comes back and says "they both said yes. what...

I was in the pub with the wife last night and I said I love you.................. she said is that you or the beer talking..................... I said Its me talking to the beer..

I met two girls in the pub last night and both of them had vey strong accents. I said to them "I know that accent, you two ladies are from Scotland aren't you?" "Wales you ****in idiot",one of them replied, so I said "Sorry", "You two wales are from Scotland, aren't you?"

Told the wife last night that i was worried because i had a burning sensation in my arse and it looked like a blood orange ...She said Ring Sting ....i thought well what the F***k would he know about it? __________________

Man who wants pretty nurse, - must be patient. Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly. Better to be pissed off than pissed on. Lady who goes camping must beware of evil in-tent. Squirrel who runs up womans' leg will not find nuts. Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion...

A revelation with an Incredibly Big Message (IBM): Well, you might have thought that you knew how the Internet started, but here's the TRUE story .... In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot...

Liz and I, were travelling down the North Devon link road and Liz was driving when we were overtaken by a car with a load of young lads in it. Liz said "I think those people next to us are from Wales", "Why is that", I said, "Well they have written on the window and it says, stit rouy su wohs"

Chris Tarrant say's-------------For £32,000.00,what is the colour of your wifes pubic hair? (A) blonde, (B) black, (C) brown or (D) ginger? Paddy say's "It's a lot of money to risk oi'l have to phone a friend

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WinterClasses for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTRE REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED By Friday, February 29th, 2011 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS. Class 1 Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a...

When King Arthur was away looking for the Holy Grail he made Guinevere wear a chastity belt fitted with a small guillotine to stop anyone interfering with her. When Arthur returned he asked all of his Knights to drop their trousers for a cock inspection. The only one still left with a cock was...

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit a suicide," she says. While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to...

The Pope is handing out miracles in Liverpool. Billy walks on stage and asks, "can you help with my hearing?" The Pope says "yes" and puts his hands over Billy's ears. He then prays, removes his hands and says, "how is your hearing now?" and Billy says, "I don't know, it's not till next...

Two women friends had gone for a girls' night out Both were very faithful and loving wives, however They had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to Pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so...

An assortment of high powered weapons and a stash of drugs including cocain, heroin and ecstacy have been found behind the job centre in Liverpool. The locals are said to be horrified and in a state of shock. They had no idea they had a Job Centre!

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand, selling ties.. The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"...