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RocketDodger

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#44
In the boozer after a few, I came up with a fantastic plan for total world domination, starting next Friday, rv at Visioneer corporate shedquarters, 1400hrs. Soon as I find the beermat wot I rote it on, I'll ask for cv's.

V :)
I'm in, where do I sign?

Will I have to have any experience or will the fact I paid 5 grand and got a shiny certificate do as well?

I've been told that as I've managed people in a Pub / Club that I qualify to be a supervisor/manager in Hostile Environments (THAT one is true by the way!)

I don't require firearms training as I can change a magazine on CoD in less than four seconds and my marksmanship score is AWESOME!
 

TMAC

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#46
Ok mate, we'll put you in charge of Motivation...GO US!!! (That's us, as in we, not U.S btw) ;-)
 

colonel45155

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#47
Good luck with your world domination, I've been in my man cave working on a 'worldwide keyholding domination' company, its called "keyholders really against protection" or KRAP for short.

How can I do this you ask? Easy, every key in the world will be the same and fit every lock. I'd only need to carry one key. Every keyholder in the world would leave their jobs and join me because we all know a big bunch of keys is heavy. Genius isn't it. :p


I'll get my world domination people to do lunch with your world domination people, we could merge. hope the OP dosen't read this or he may steal my idea before I get it to the Dragons Den.

I'm working on my company at the moment but the OP seems to be talking similar KRAP so I better hurry up.
 
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Ivan67

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Nov 1, 2008
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#48
Good luck with your world domination, I've been in my man cave working on a 'worldwide keyholding domination' company, its called "keyholders really against protection" or KRAP for short.

How can I do this you ask? Easy, every key in the world will be the same and fit every lock. I'd only need to carry one key. Every keyholder in the world would leave their jobs and join me because we all know a big bunch of keys is heavy. Genius isn't it. :p


I'll get my world domination people to do lunch with your world domination people, we could merge. hope the OP dosen't read this or he may steal my idea before I get it to the Dragons Den.

I'm working on my company at the moment but the OP seems to be talking similar KRAP so I better hurry up.
I will fund you, and if the OP does try to make a move that way I will have my WD people kick the KRAP out of him.
 

colonel45155

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#49
You have to pass interview Ivan,

first question

Does your door have a lock and can you turn a key?

if you say yes then you're hired, you're on the board of directors. :)
 
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Ivan67

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#50
You have to pass interview Ivan,

Have you ever turned a key?
No I have not, but I do have many tools that work well in making other people stuff my stuff.

Ah shit, gotta run now, the cash truck just filled the ATM at the filling station, and I need some new tires.
 

RocketDodger

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#53
In the boozer after a few, I came up with a fantastic plan for total world domination, starting next Friday, rv at Visioneer corporate shedquarters, 1400hrs. Soon as I find the beermat wot I rote it on, I'll ask for cv's.

V :)
Count me in! But my Mum says I can't work weekends and have to be home by 2230
 

LakeEffectKid

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Jul 12, 2012
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#55
Doesn't the OP know that Keyholding is SOOOO last century? In the modern world, you have to move with the times and embrace new trends (But not once they've become popular; do it then, and you're just "begging" the trend like a wannabe). The more talented people are able to look beyond current trends, to what the next trend will be, and launch it before it happens, making it cool.

In this respect, I would like to humbly suggest that the OP reconsiders their Business Plan with urgency; Instead of concentrating on a Keyholding Company, they should consider....

A Key JUGGLING Company! It's soooo unfashonable, that it's about to be it's time to be cool! Instead of rocking up to the location in a company van, they can rock up in style on Unicycles! And those are about to come back in a BIG way!

Why bother keeping a copy of every key for that area in your van, when you can instead give every unicyclist just 3 keys! The fun is finding out whether they're the right ones or not!

For a little extra, you could charge the client for an "Upgraded" service experience! Simply turn up 4 hours after being called, lift up the "Welcome" Mat at their front door you installed, and find a copy of their key!





This is a totally original idea, and i'm trusting you guys to keep it a secret. If the OP nicks my Keyholding Underlings National Team (Barely Against Grouppe) [Or KUNT(BAG) Squad], i'll write him a very, very, very, very angry letter!
 
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