Tesco

C

colonel45155

Longterm Registered User
Shaved my head so I must look like some kind of bad effer, went to Tesco last week, second Isle up and they had slow cookers on offer. This was at 11am, didn't buy one because I wanted to check with the missus, anyway noticed the security guard peeping around the corner. Came back with the other half later in the afternoon to buy one, (still two isles up) low and behold security guard looking like Mr Bean peeping around the corner again. I called him over, told him not to be so effing obvious, I could teach him a thing or two in loss prevention. It was more comical than annoying, can't get the staff these days. Loss prevention is a learned experience, that guy hadn't a clue. Not complaining or anything just smiling at the thought. Moral, Tesco do some vetting.

I live in a small town and every checkout person and also management know me and what I do, as I say I'm not ranting but the new security guy needs training. Wonder if I should walk in next time with a hoodie and try my best to look shifty, nah obviously wont do that but the standards are slipping.

The normal security guard there is CP licensed, I know him, bad that a CPO is working in Tesco but this was a new guy, he'll get to know me when I try and run off with a tin of tesco value beans. ;)

Just as a by the way, the slow cooker is the best invention ever, get meat, pork or silverside, bung it in at 10 at night on low, by tomorrow its ready, now that's a lazy mans cooking. Well pleased and it was only a tenner.
 
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Friday I had to go to a govt building in a tower block. On getting out on the 6th floor I was confronted by a security guard in uniform. I said can you tell me where the fire exit is please, he replied what do you want to know that for just show me your ID and Il let you in.
So i slipped my passport back in my pocket and produced my SIA licence....security guard said, oh sorry its my first day and i dont know where it is no one has shown me yet.
As it was 10am im guessing he started at 8am and hadnt thought to ask a basic question.
 
fbg said:
Friday I had to go to a govt building in a tower block. On getting out on the 6th floor I was confronted by a security guard in uniform. I said can you tell me where the fire exit is please, he replied what do you want to know that for just show me your ID and Il let you in.
So i slipped my passport back in my pocket and produced my SIA licence....security guard said, oh sorry its my first day and i dont know where it is no one has shown me yet.
As it was 10am im guessing he started at 8am and hadnt thought to ask a basic question.
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Bad Plan to flash the badge buddy, although I did call the loss provention officer over, I said "that's twice" I know that I shouldnt have said said this but I told him that I worked loss prevention and he'd be best being a bit more covert.

I've never stolen a thing in my life.

Thinking about airport security, one of our guys got sacked at the olympics because he thought it would be a great idea to lie on the belt and go through the xray machine, oops. anyhow I digress, never never never say what you do, always better to have the upper hand, let people think they know more than you do. works every time.

fbg, sometimes you gotta say dammit, one time I was almost not allowed on a plane because I lit up a roll up outside, stewardess said "see that tanker outside" I said ""aye" "thats aviation fuel" she made me sit and wait to the last one on as she asked the pilot if I was allowed on, silly move I know, needed a smoke, she didnt know the pilot (captain) was my brother in law. Still no excuse but funny none the less. my best friend went kaboom in kabal, a roll up in an airport wont do that.
 
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Col,

Did you buy the slow cooker and have you used it?
If so what did you cook?

Dying to know.

Regards

premier
 
premier said:
Col,

Did you buy the slow cooker and have you used it?
If so what did you cook?

Dying to know.

Regards

premier
Click to expand...

Oooooo yes, absolutely the best thing I've ever bought, I'm a dab hand in the kitchen, even have a pizza oven because I don't like tomato sauce on a pizza so make my own fresh dough ones, I burn out a blender every six months or so mixing dough (still make a mess of flour which the girlfriend has to clean up) the slow cooker is the best invention ever, first I tried was pork fillet, I like things well done so put it on low at 10pm and 3pm the next day it was brilliant, so tender pulled pork, tried a silverside and serloin in it, same thing. such a lazy mans invention I should have had it years ago. Can't recommend it enough, the juice that comes out of the meat is apparently good for gravy but I havent tried that yet, I put it in the dogs dry food but Google says mix it with Flour, I'll try that next.

Anyhow, got embarrased today at Tesco, went out and the bloody car wouldn't start, flat battery, car park attendant didn't seem like it was anything out of the ordinary but he did say its the first time he had to push a bmw, I said I have issues weekly.

Back to the point but, Premier I'm gonna get another one, Xmas dinners coming up so one for gammon, one for turkey crown. They're only 3.5 litre, thats just a snack ;)

I just might go in with a hoodie next time LOL
 
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Hmmm, just noticed my original post was liked by Tesco. Howzat for a result.

And if you are really anything to do with Tesco your LP officers arent in radio contact, there are cameras and one body should be monitoring them and radioing his collegue, when I did loss prevention the worst culprits were the workers, I was plain clothed not white shirt and tie.

Which brings me to a point that I still laugh at to this day, I worked at bestival in the Isle of wight, 2 of our guys were plain clothed, I had a new guy with me and hey asked "why can they work here without their uniform?" I replied "your SIA license dosen't cover you to impersonate a member of the public" Muppet!
 
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