chuck norris

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Now there you go LOL
 
chucks daughter lost her viginity, chuck got her it back.

chuck norris is already dead,just death is too scared to tell him.
 
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.

The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
 
Ghosts' sit around a campfire and tell Chuck Norris Stories.

Chuck Norris' House has a Bear Rug in front of his fire. The bear isn't dead, just too afraid to move.

Chuck Norris has been to Mars; That's why there's no life.

Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using One Cent and Pokémon Cards.

Chuck Norris, after a heavy night drinking, needed a slash, so went in the fuel tank of a Big Rig. That Big Rig is now known as Optimus Prime.





And Finally;


Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
 
Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris came up with the theory of relativity but Albert Einstein stole the idea from him. Chuck Norris therefore roundhouse kicked him in the head. We know know Albert Eistein as Stephen Hawking.

Heno
 
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